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Progress Report

Zachary Green


My biggest fear today is not that the world ‘self’ will be spelled ‘slef’. It’s ugly and it doesn’t feel right; is not that Sour Patch Kids will grow up to be adults and not sour;  not that I will be fired because I am too awesome for everyone around me. My biggest fear is not that heartburn will actually set my heart on fire and I will have to walk around for the rest of my whole life with a charred cave deep in the center of me. I am afraid that I will say “deep in the center of me” and confuse my self with thinking I’m important. Headaches mean you should be dead or asleep and right now I am neither.


My dad believes in “weathernoia,” an irrational fear that the weather is personally attacking you. I guess I believe in “noianoia,” the irrational fear that irrational fears are attacking each other.

A perfectly healthy sentence, it is true, is extremely rare. For the most part we miss the hue and fragrance of the thought; as if we could be satisfied with the dews of the morning or evening without their colors, or the heavens without their azure. - Henry David Thoreau


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